Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
