We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is my gift to your gina
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
