shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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