idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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