how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
