So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
