you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize