Small penises have feelings too.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
