In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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