office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
