i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
