I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
