There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Terrible idea I love it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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