I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
