Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize