I must be too annoying 4 u.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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