Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im part way to drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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