it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I lost the right to judge tonight
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
