I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nicole vs. Life
I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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