You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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