Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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