Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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