We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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