the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
