if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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