dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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