we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
