We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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