i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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