Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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