There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
