I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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