I murdered the dance floor call the cops
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
