his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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