Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
