hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I need moral support for this bender
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
