She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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