Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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