I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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