Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
