When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize