Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
