What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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