I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
