this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
