Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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