he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
