Sry I called you an 8
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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