Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
