Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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