Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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