I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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