we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
pray to the hookup gods
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
