Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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