i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
