Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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