We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
