he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
