Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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