Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
